The Ball Pit of Death (Which Contains No Balls or Fun)
by EDD17SP
Summary: While Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, now a member of the O.W.C.A., track "The Regurgitator," recently escaped from prison, the teenaged gang travels to Oak Island to hunt for treasure. Before Phineas can even begin to work through his sudden growing affection for Isabella, the gang is thrown into a perilous adventure miles underground, and some of them may never see daylight again...
1. What the heck spurred this?

**Catastrophe on Oak Island**

 **Oh, boy. Where to begin with this one? Let's see…I was writing another story that I've been trying to write, for, like, a year or more. I had the whole plot planned out in my head, but it wasn't flowing from my head to my hands to the keyboard. The writing seemed forced. I was also trying to write another story that was a Buford/Isabella friendship story that just never flowed out, either. Then I had a _different_ Buford/Isabella friendship story idea…and then a Phineabella story…but neither really seemed worth writing. And THEN I thought, "Oooh, I bet I could combine them! This could totally work!"**

 **So…yeah. I'm starting this story. I don't know if I'll actually have time or motivation to finish it, but I'm making an effort to get back into writing.**

 **Anyway, here it is. I hope you like it.**

Chapter 1 – What the heck spurred this?!

 _From the Desk of Isabella Garcia-Shapiro_

 _July 8th_

 _Dear Phineas,_

 _First, I have to apologize. I know yesterday was the actual anniversary, but I honestly completely forgot. I ran into Baljeet at the grocery store and he reminded me. It seems like it was so long ago…heck, it's been close to a year since I've seen Baljeet. The old gang just doesn't hang out anymore. We barley even talk. We're all so busy and it still seems awkward to talk to any of them._

 _Well, except for Buford, I suppose._

 _Wow, that seems so strange to say. It's so hard to believe that, out of all our old friends, BUFORD, bully, tough guy Buford, is the only one I still regularly talk to. What with Ferb in England having totally isolated himself from his old life, Baljeet teaching at college, Candace finishing up law school – Jeremy finally proposed, by the way. I told him he shouldn't have waited so long, but he wanted to give her ample time to recover after...what happened. She never really did, but I think being engaged has actually helped her._

 _Where was I? Oh, right. Yes, with all of our old friends scattered, busy, and basically afraid to speak to each other, it's so hard to believe that Buford is the only one I can still talk to. We have lunch together all the time. In fact, after…what happened…having his friendship is basically the only thing keeping me from going insane._

 _I sort of had a little snap a few months ago. I, uh, went a little bonkers. I'm really embarrassed to tell you about it, but, all things considered, I guess I can tell you anything._

 _I blanked out while driving home from work one day. I didn't lose consciousness or anything like that. I was still driving safely, I just wasn't really aware of it. I guess I'd compare it to being hypnotized. Anyway, what snapped me back to reality was a song on the radio. Gitchy-Gitchy Goo, what else? (I still can't believe some stations still play that.) It's been years since I've heard it, or even since I've thought about it._

 _And I just lost it._

 _I went to the nearest bar, started drinking. I drank for hours, practically blind drunk. After hours of drinking, the bartender cut me off, so I smashed a bottle and…uh…threatened to slit my wrist with a piece of the glass if he didn't give me another drink. Thank goodness it just happened to be the place where Buford and his new buddy (who happens to be his boss. Not really important, just mentioning it) like to go have a drink after work. Buford rushed to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and yelled at me, trying to snap me out of it. Then I threatened to cut him instead, so he knocked the glass out of my hand and slapped me on the cheek._

 _Ha. That sure worked. Yup. Buford has really been a savior for me. That is SO weird to say!_

 _I've been okay since then. Funny, that was the first time in my life I ever touched alcohol and I haven't since._

 _Anyway…_

 _I still think about you. Always. Sometimes I try to push you out of my head so I can focus, but you just won't go away. I've tried to let you go, but I just can't. And then, sometimes, I don't want you out of my head. Old feelings die hard, I guess._

 _Sometimes I wonder if you succeeded. I wonder if you ever did find Perry. I wonder if you're still out there somewhere. I've wondered if maybe somehow you found a way back, but lost all your memories and started a new life somewhere else. I've made up so many scenarios in my head about it, but the fact still remains that you aren't here._

 _I was so hopeful that you'd find a way to get back. I look for you every single day, hoping that somehow you made it back._

 _But you never did._

 _My words still stand, just as they always have. I only wish I could have had a chance to say them to you in person._

 _I love you, Phineas._

 _Your friend always,_

Isabella plucked a tissue from the box on her desk and wiped away the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. When she had brought her shaking breath under control and had calmed down, she reread the letter. By the time she had finished, her cheeks were soaked again. Ignoring the dampness in her eyes, she picked up the pen again and signed her name in the blank space at the bottom.

 _Isabella._

She folded the letter in thirds and placed it in an envelope, licking it and sealing it. On the front she wrote no address, and she placed no stamp. She wrote only a name.

 _Phineas Flynn_

Letter in hand, Isabella went out to the backyard of her childhood home where she still lived with her mother. From her pocket she removed a cigarette lighter. She had only used it four times since she'd purchased it. As she had four years in a row on this date, she flipped open the lighter and ignited the small flame. With a heavy sigh, she held up the envelope, touching the fire to the corner. The flame tickled the paper until it caught, and she watched it slowly begin to consume the envelope, creeping across to the other side. When she could no longer hold it without burning her hand, she let it fall to the grass and stared at it as it burned until it smoldered itself out. Her tears flowed down her cheeks and dripped onto her shirt, soaking the fabric.

"Phineas…" she whispered. "Why?"


	2. What could possibly go wrong?

**You may have noticed that I changed the title and the description of this story. I changed the description because in between writing the first and second chapter, I sort of changed my mind on the direction I wanted to go with this story. I changed the title because, let's face it, the old title was very boring.**

Chapter 2 – What could possibly go wrong?

 _Five years earlier…_

"Hey, Phineas?"

"Yeah, Buford?"

"How many channels you got?"

"Uh…I think about 200. Why?"

"Because ya' just passed the same rerun of _Horse in a Bookcase_ for th' fourth time. Ya've flipped through all 200 channels four times and still haven't found anything t' watch."

"Oh…I didn't even notice."

It had been raining for four straight days in Danville. Phineas and Ferb had tried their hardest to come up with fun things to do inside, but they had exhausted their brains. Now the teenaged step-brothers, Isabella, and Buford were just sitting on the floor in the living room staring at the TV while Phineas flipped aimlessly through the stations.

"I guess no matter how many TV channels you have, there just isn't anything good on at…" Phineas glanced at his watch. "…12:56 on a Wednesday afternoon."

The sound of the doorbell resounded through the Flynn-Fletcher's home. A small inset window appeared in the top corner of the TV screen showing a live video feed from a camera above the front porch. Phineas and Ferb had rigged it up a few years ago. The picture revealed Baljeet, tightly clutching the collar of his rain slicker to keep the heavy precipitation from sneaking down his neck. Without a word, Ferb stood from where he was leaning back against the couch and went to let Baljeet in.

"Hello, my friends," Baljeet greeted somberly as he entered the house, removing his soaked coat.

"'Sup," Buford replied through half-closed eyelids. Phineas and Isabella simply replied with a bored "Mmm."

The Indian teen took a seat on the floor beside Buford. "Judging by the look of boredom on each of your faces, I assume that you could not think of anything else fun to do inside today?"

"Yup," Phineas replied quietly again. "We've been flipping through the TV stations for close to an hour now. Not even anything good on to watch."

"Could we not watch a movie?"

Isabella shrugged. "Couldn't think of anything we wanted to watch."

"Oh." Baljeet rested his arms in his lap and leaned his chin into his hands. Soon he had joined his friends in being the most bored they had ever been in their entire lives.

"Oh, look," Phineas spoke after several minutes of silence. "It's one o'clock. New shows just starting that we can flip through."

"Yaaaaay," the others replied unenthusiastically. Buford crunched loudly on a potato chip.

Phineas hadn't gone very far through the TV stations when he landed on the Uncovery Channel. The show description at the bottom of the screen caught his eye and he ceased channel surfing.

"Hmm, what's this?" he wondered aloud under his breath.

 _"Today on the Uncovery Channel, we dive into one of the most strange and puzzling unsolved mysteries of all time: The Oak Island Money Pit."_

"Th' Oak Island…what?" Buford asked, as the opening sequence of the show began.

"The Oak Island Money Pit," Baljeet stated flatly. He continued without a hint of emotion as if reading aloud from a very dry textbook. "A pit on Oak Island of unknown depth, speculated to be man-made, and rumored to be booby trapped. It is said to contain hidden treasure, but since no one has ever been able to excavate deep enough do to cave-ins and flooding, no one knows for sure. Some say it contains the treasure of the notorious pirate Captain Kidd, or Edward Teach, otherwise known as Blackbeard. Others say it may be the final resting place of a sunken Viking ship, a treasure of the Templar Knights, or even the Ark of the Covenant."

The others stared at him with wide eyes and pursed lips. (Well, Ferb always looks like that.)

"Wow," Isabella said, finally breaking the silence. "That was…um…"

Buford finished for her. "Yer a human web browser, nerd."

Baljeet cracked a small smile and picked up a bag of popcorn from the floor, extracting a piece. "It is a gift." He tossed a popped kernel into his mouth, feeling quite pleased with himself.

While everyone else focused back on the television to watch the documentary, Phineas turned and watched the pouring rain. A bolt of lightning crackled across the sky, and a low rumble of thunder followed.

On the first commercial break, Phineas muted the TV. "Guys, we are bored. Very bored. And you guys know me, being bored is against my person creedo! We need to do something to make up for this boring day."

Buford leaned over and whispered to Baljeet. "We oughta keep track o' how many times he says the word 'bored.'"

Meanwhile, Phineas stood and continued his speech with growing passion. "I don't want to be bored anymore, and I know you don't either. I say the rain may be wet, but it also instills a sort of ominous sense of adventure! Who's up for a trip to Oak Island?"

He was met with silence and blank stares.

"Dude, you know Oak Island is in Nova Scotia, right?" Buford said.

"We traveled around the entire world in a day, what's your point?"

Buford shrugged.

"Can't argue with logic like that!" Isabella exclaimed, perking up to join her crush's enthusiasm. "I'm in!"

"Always am," Ferb added.

Baljeet was not so quick to agree. "Hmm…it sounds rather dangerous to me…but…you two do always plan ahead. Okay, I am in."

Finally, everyone turned to Buford. "I guess if everyone else is in, I am, too. Like my mudd'r always said, 'If all th' other kids are jumping off a bridge, I should, too."

"Your mother said that?" Baljeet asked.

"She said it would build charact'r."

Phineas pumped his fist in the air excitedly. "Yes! C'mon, guys! Let's go rig up some pit-exploring equipment!" He headed for the garage with the others close behind. As they were digging through some boxes, Phineas suddenly stopped. "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry quietly slipped out from underneath the couch when his owners and their friends were gone. After donning his fedora, he grabbed the TV remote and changed the input to AUX 3. The Television screen turned into a portal and he leapt through it. On the opposite end, he jumped out of the monitor in his lair and summersaulted right into his chair. A few seconds later, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, also wearing a fedora, crash landed onto the floor beside him.

"Whoooaaaaa- OOF! Ow."

The monitor screen flicked from the portal to an image of Major Monogram. "Good morning Agents P and Dr. D."

"Hey, how come I've been an agent for, like, seven years now and I still don't even get a chair to land on?" Doofenshmirtz complained as he stood and bent backwards to re-straighten his spine. "If I had a nickel for every time I crashed into this floor…well, my chiropractor gets way more than a nickel for every time I crash. I'm willing to bet at least half of my salary goes to that guy."

"Sorry, Heinz, I've been trying," Monogram said. "But they've been trying to get me to retire for years. It's to the point where the acquisitions department just ignores me. Actually, most of the agency just ignores me now. Well, except Carl. I guess their plan is to make me miserable so that I quit on my own. But they never will! I've got an iron will and nerves of steel and…lots of other metal parts."

"Then can Carl try to get me a chair? Or at least a throw pillow?"

Monogram sighed. "Okay, to tell you the truth, Heinz, the Agency has been trying to get you to retire, too. You're 54 years old, too old to be a field agent anymore. They think Agent P is getting too old, too-"

"WHAT?!" Dr. D. interrupted. He was indignant. Perry was rather shocked at hearing that the OWCA wanted him to retire and was feeling rather betrayed.

"Yeah, sorry to have to break that to you. You've been a good agent…well, actually, you really haven't."

Doofenshmirtz could feel his cheeks turning red with fury. "Is that so? Well, why don't you just give us our mission, _Francis._ Perry the Platypus and I will do such an impeccable job on this mission that the agency won't be able to give us up!" He and Perry grinned at each other with determination and high fived.

Major Monogram sighed. "Alright. But just remember, we aren't getting any younger here."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get to the mission already."

"Fine. Irving, the photo?"

"Right away, Major."

A photo of a muscular looking man with a rather flat face appeared on the screen. "I believe you two are acquainted with this scoundrel. The Regurgitator."

"Ah, yes, my former boss for...one afternoon," Doof recalled.

"He recently escaped from prison. We need you two to track him down and bring him in. Our surveillance satellites detected the tracking beacon in his prison jumpsuit at this airfield-" The picture on the screen changed to a map with a position marker showing the airfield. "-and they have reported to us that one of their airplanes has been stolen. The beacon never left the airfield, however, so we assume he found a change of clothes. You'll have to track him down the old fashioned way."

"Piece of cake!" Doofenshmirtz said, spinning on his heal and heading for the hovercraft. "C'mon, Perry the Platypus! Let's go find Mr. The Regurgitor."

"Be careful!" Monogram called.

"Ah, put a muffin in it, Francis! This isn't our first day of sound technician school!"

Perry hopped into the driver's seat and started the engine, Doofenshmirtz riding shotgun, and they were gone before Monogram had a chance to say another word.

Monogram shook his head. "How does that man expect to catch an escaped criminal if he can't even get figures of speech right?

 **I hope you are all enjoying so far! Reviews are always welcome and encouraged, but please be civil.**


	3. Bubble Boys x Magic Carpet Ride

**Sorry this one took a little while, but I've really been trying hard to put a lot of effort into this one. I won't go into more detail than that like I usually do. I'll just say I hope this chapter was worth the wait!**

Chapter 3: Bubble Boys X Magic Carpet Ride

"Well, guys, I think that'll do it," Phineas said as he overlooked the prepared gear in the garage.

The gang glanced around them at the floor. There were so many different kinds of exploring and excavation gear on the floor, many of them in a quantity of five so that each of them would be equipped, that there was barely enough room to walk. There were piles of rope and climbing gear, shovels and picks modified with nanotechnology for easy digging, gloves, boots, scuba gear for exploring flooded tunnels, and even pressure suits in case they somehow got sucked into space.

"Phineas, I do not believe it is practical to carry all of these supplies into the pit," Baljeet said.

"Not to worry, friends," Phineas assured them. "As usual, Ferb is one step ahead." He motioned to the green-haired Brit. Ferb held up a small device that looked like the trap from _Ghostbusters_ with a blackberry wired to it. With the press of a button, the device opened, emitting a blue glow from within. Aiming the open top at the piles of various clothing and tools, the gear flew towards it as if being sucked through an invisible straw and disappeared. Within seconds, the garage was empty again. The device closed and Ferb pocketed it.

Isabella smiled. "Wow! Infinite storage container?"

"Exactly," Phineas replied. "We won't be lugging around heavy equipment on this expedition."

"Now how are we going to get to Eastern Canada?" Isabella asked.

"Well, since it's already mid-afternoon and we're a little pressed for time, Ferb and I thought we could use one of our previous inventions instead of taking the time to build something new," Phineas replied as he led the others back into the living room.

Buford laughed, not quite believing his ears. "You mean to tell me that you guys built somet'n' that neve' disappea'ed?" he chuckled in disbelief.

"Yup! And it's a good thing, too. Mom probably wouldn't have been too happy if half of the living room vanished." Several eyebrows were raised in confusion. Phineas motioned to the floor. "The aerial area rug."

"Ohhhhh," came the chorus of realization.

"But will that not make for a rather wet ride?" Baljeet asked. "The carpet will become soaked from the rain, your couch will be ruined, and we will all likely catch a cold."

"Once again, Ferb is one step ahead." Phineas pointed to the window. In the backyard, Ferb was putting the finishing touches on what appeared to be a giant red plastic bubble wand.

Seeing Ferb outside, the others quickly looked behind them to where they were positive Ferb had been standing just seconds before. "How did...?" Baljeet stuttered as Ferb entered the house and rejoined the others.

"Dude, just don't question it," Buford said. "Ferb's powers are far beyond ou' comprehension. Now can we get a move on? I wanna smash some rocks."

"Alright, everybody!" Phineas announced happily. "Take a seat!"

Brimming with excitement for this escape from boredom, the gang sat on the living room carpet between the couch and TV. Ferb took the controls and activated the Micro-filament omnidirectional jet grid. The second floor of the house swung open on a hinge…which unceremoniously flung a soundly sleeping Candace out of bed.

"Hu- AHHHH-!" she cried as she tumbled along the upright floor and crashed into the wall below. "Oww!" Her hand instinctively moved to the bump on her throbbing head, aching more from her rude awakening than the crash. "Grrrr! PHINEAS!"

As the rug quickly rose from within the house into the pouring rain, Phineas heard his sister's distressed yell. Ferb steered the rug through the massive bubble wand, encasing the strange craft and its occupants in a giant protective polymer-strengthened shield. Meanwhile, the second floor of the Flynn-Fletcher house resumed its original orientation.

"Whoops. I forgot Candace was upstairs napping," Phineas said.

Ferb placed a thoughtful finger to his lips. "It occurs to me that the particle acceleration field that holds objects in place when we use the second-story escape hatch may not have an effect on living organic material."

Candace's bedroom window flew open. There stood the eldest Flynn-Fletcher sibling, anger reddening her face amid a tangle of rumpled orange hair. "Phineas! What on earth are you doing?!"

"Hi, Candace!" Phineas waved. "We're going to Nova Scotia! Sorry for waking you, I guess our particle acceleration grid still has a few bugs."

Candace rolled her eyes in disgust. "Clearly. Now get back here so I can bust you!"

"Sorry, Candace! We don't have any time to spare! We're burning daylight! Er, cloudlight…or something like that."

And before Candace could utter another word, Ferb thumbed the throttle stick on his remote to the forward position and the aerial area rug disappeared into the rainy afternoon sky.

* * *

"After I get a landing chair, Perry the Platypus, we need to see about getting the top on this hovercar made taller."

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was scrunched up uncomfortably inside the hovercar to fit beneath its platypus-height convertible top. With his fedora in the glove box due to the lack of space, Doof's head was nearly in his lap. He felt like his spine was being pulled apart by the unnatural position. He was thankful to be sheltered from the driving rain, but he knew that future neck cramps and an even larger bill from the chiropractor were inevitable.

He rubbed his neck. "Are we there yet, Perry the Platypus?" Perry chattered a reply. "I, uh…I still don't know what it means…you know, when you make that sound." The platypus rolled his eyes.

Doof stared out the side window at the rain, putting his neck in an even more uncomfortable position. In his mind, he recounted what Major Monogram had said.

"I still can't believe that the O.W.C.A. thinks we should retire!" The sudden outburst startled poor Perry, who was busy concentrating on his GPS navigation. "You and I are still top agents! We're at the top of our game! We're top notch! Top players! Top, uh…top of the heap. Top…top gunners. Top…top, uh…top…That's all the 'top' phrases I can think of."

Perry reached into the cup holder and grabbed something, which he pushed into his partner's hand.

"What's this?" Doof looked at what Perry had given him. Resting in his palm were six shiny coins. "A nickel for every 'top' phrase I said, huh?" Perry just smirked. "Very funny, Perry the Platypus, very funny! Well, you know what?" The coins jingled as Doof slammed them into the cup holder angrily. "I don't appreciate being told that I'm too old to be a field agent! You and I have something to prove, Perry the Platypus! We are going to prove that we can still spy just as well as anyone else at O.W.C.A.! No, forget that! We can spy ten times better!"

Perry was not sure where Doofenshmirtz was going with this rant. They had already agreed that the situation was unfair and that they could prove themselves back at the lair. So, Perry ignored Doof. However, this meant that he failed to notice that, as Doofenshmirtz's speech became increasingly impassioned, the former evil scientist was trying to sit up. He was placing quite a bit of excess strain on the fabric convertible top.

"Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus do _not_ just get swept under the rug like two-bit has-beens! We'll show the O.W.C.A. who the best agents really are! We will not just take this sitting dow-!"

And with that, Doofenshmirtz ripped through the strained fabric roof, exposing his head to the pouring rain and wind. Within seconds his head was soaked, graying hair clinging to his skull.

"Well…serves me right, I guess, for rambling."

Perry just stared in surprise.

"Hey, uh, Perry the Platypus, be a pal and step on it a little? I'd like to get there before the wind blows my eyelids off."

Trying not to let his partner glimpse the amusement on his face, Perry advanced the throttle a little more and the hovercar sped toward the Danville Airfield.

* * *

The Regurgitator knew how to fly a plane, but he didn't claim to be any good at it. The self-proclaimed "World's Most Evil Villain" was far from the "World's Greatest Pilot." Regardless, his skill was sufficient to make his getaway in a little single engine Cessna puddle jumper. He carefully watched his compass and altimeter as he slowly brought the little plane down out of the gloomy rain clouds.

"Should be here…" The heavy precipitation was raising thick mists over the ocean, making the conditions like flying through pea soup.

Something suddenly appeared right in front of the plane. "Whoa!" The Regurgitator instinctively hauled back on the control yoke to avoid it. The Cessna shot upwards back into the sky with a quick jerk, but whatever it was had vanished. "Wha…?" He scanned the sky, but he could see nothing but clouds. _I must be going mad…I swear that was a flying carpet inside a giant bubble._

Gathering his wits about him again, the Regurgitator slowly and carefully edged the controls forward. With the nose of the plane down towards the Earth, he fought the strong resistance in the yoke from the powerful crosswinds. As the little Cessna rocked back and forth with the gusts, he pushed in the yoke, guiding the plane down as gently as he could. Slowly, the altimeter spun. _Only 150 feet…I should be able to see it by now!_

He glanced at the navigation chart on the empty copilot's seat. _Yes, I should be right on top of it! Why can't I see-?_

The Regurgitator's thought was cut short as he looked out the windshield and found the ocean inches away from his landing gear. There was no time to react. The plane nosed gently into the water, stalling the propeller's rotary engine. Water began trickling into the cabin as the water dragged the little airplane to a stop.

"Damn!" Now hopping mad, The Regurgitator glared at the altimeter. It read 122ft. "The moron who flew this thing last didn't calibrate the altimeter!"

The water creeping up to his ankles, The Regurgitator ripped his seat cushion loose. With a swift kick, his boot shattered the windshield. After tossing the seat cushion out, he climbed carefully through the hole in the glass and dove into the water to escape the slowly sinking aircraft. Using the seat cushion as a flotation device, the Regurgitator bobbed gently in the waves, trying to decide his next move. The rain pelting his face only made him angrier.

And then, as if by magic, through the mist and rain, he could see the silhouette of a small island. His victorious smirk was dripping with evilness.

 _There it is._

As he paddled toward the island, he silently vowed that when he took over the world, the idiot who'd forgotten to calibrate the altimeter in the plane he'd stolen would be the first to feel his terrible wrath.

Then again, how was he supposed to figure out who that was?

* * *

Doofenshmirtz felt rather silly. He had become soaked to the skin as the rain had trickled down his neck into his shirt. He was relieved when he caught sight of the airfield through the mist as Perry gently lowered the hovercar from the sky.

"Is this it? Are we here?" He asked excitedly. "Finally! Maybe they have something we can fix the ragtop with!"

Perry landed next to a small building marked only with a sign reading "Office." The only other structures were two half-round aluminum-roofed airplane hangars.

Doof ducked so that Perry could lower the convertible top, which allowed him the ability to stand. His back and neck cracked loudly. "Ahhhhh." The aging scientist's moan was half from relief and half from pain. "Oh, the chiropractor's bill this week is going to wipe me out. Well, not really, it's just an exaggeration to make a point."

Perry replaced the top to keep the rain out and they entered the building. Doof left his fedora where he'd stashed it in the glove box. It was not going to do him much good in protecting him from the rain, anyway, considering he was already soaked.

A tired looking middle-aged man with a bushy mustache and round glasses sat behind the desk going through paperwork. He glanced up as Agents P and Dr. D. entered.

"Canna help ya'll?" he asked with a thick southern drawl.

Perry presented his badge as Doofenshmirtz addressed the man. "An escaped criminal stole a plane from this airfield yesterday," Doof said sternly. He was making a lousy attempt at sounding like a loose-cannon cop. "We _need_ to know- Heyyy, I recognize this place! I didn't at first, what with the rain and whatnot, but I was here a few months ago! I took flying lessons here!"

The man adjusted his spectacles and squinted hard at Doof. "Ah, yeas, Mister, ah, Doofenschmidt, was it?"

Doof laughed sarcastically. "That's Doofenshmirtz, actually, and-"

"Ya'll were the worst flyin' student I evar did train," the man interrupted. "Couldn't even calerbrate them gauges right."

Heinz grit his teeth, trying not to lose his cool. "Yeah, well you!…You, uh…oh! I could barely understand what you were saying with that accent of yours!"

"What's wrong with ma accent?"

"Are you serious? You-!" Doof was cut off when he felt Perry tug on his pant leg. He sighed in defeat. "You're right, Perry the Platypus, as usual. We have a case and all that."

Perry took matters into his own hands. He removed a photograph of the Regurgitator from beneath his fedora and handed it to the man.

"Ah, i' this the varmint ya'll're lookin' fer?" He stroked his mustache in thought. "Well...can't say I've seen 'im…but…" He opened a drawer and removed a folder, from which he produced a small photo of his own. It was a single engine Cessna prop-job, painted white with a black stripe.

"If ya'll say he stole an areoplane, this one o' mine's disappeared."

Perry and Doofenshmirtz examined the picture.

"Hmm…Yup. That is a plane, alright." Doof mused, not sure what else to say about it.

Perry wrote down the registration number that was painted on the fuselage and returned the photo to the man. Then he tipped his hat and left the building, leaving Doof alone with his former flight instructor.

"So, uh…any chance I could get a refund for my lessons? You know, considering that I didn't actually learn to fly?"

The old southerner frowned. "Ya'll nearly wrecked ma plane and made me hafta start takin' meds to keep ma blood pressure down!"

"Yeah, but I didn't learn anything like the brochure promised I would, and-"

"Git out."

"Leaving!" And Doof quickly left, crashing face first into the door on the way out.

Outside, Perry had sent the registration number to Monogram and was listening to him on his wrist comm.

"…plane bearing those numbers was spotted in Canadian airspace near the coast of Nova Scotia," Doof could hear the Major saying as he rejoined his partner. "Start heading there now, and I'll contact Lyla Lolliberry at C.O.W.C.A. to get clearance for you and Doofenshmirtz. Monogram out."

Doof found Perry's gaze meeting his own. "Nova Scotia, huh?" Perry nodded. Heinz looked at the hovercar and sighed. He played with the torn edges of the hole in the fabric top with his fingers. "This is going to be a really long flight."

Perry rummaged around in the trunk and found an old umbrella. He handed it to Doof.

The former evil scientist smiled. "You're a good friend, Perry the Platypus."

The old platypus could only grin.

They climbed back into the hovercar. When Perry had put the convertible top back up, Doof threaded the umbrella through the hole and then opened it. Holding the top of the umbrella tightly against the intact part of the ragtop, it shielded Doof from the majority of the precipitation. It meant that Doofenshmirtz was forced to resume his more cramped-up position, but it was preferable to being subjected to the driving rain.

"Come on, partner!" Doof said excitedly. "We have an appointment with Mr. The Regurgitator!"

Perry guided their craft up into the rainy sky and set a course for the Canadian coast.

 **I hope you all enjoyed! I love reviews, but please be civil!**

 **See you in the next chapter!**


	4. Perry Takes a Dip

**Hey, everybody. Wow, I did not think this chapter would take so long, but I've been really busy. (Not that I think many, if any, people were exactly on the edge of their seat to see what happens next.) I am about to get incredibly busy with...you know...life. I hope I still am able to find time to continue this story, because so far, this is one of my favorite ideas I've ever come up with.  
** **Anyway, the beginning here is the other side of what happened at the end...no, actually the middle...of the previous chapter, just in case you don't catch it on your own.**

 **WARNING: High intensity platypus ahead.**

Chapter 4: Perry Takes a Dip

With a heavy sigh, Isabella rested her elbow on the arm of the couch, leaning her chin in her hand. He gaze was fixed upon Phineas, who was discussing the physics of the aerial area rug with Baljeet.

 _It's so dreamy when he talks about lift and drag._

Her thoughts did not gush affection and sweetness as when she were a child, however. More accurately, her subconscious musings were melancholy.

Through the years, Isabella's feelings her best friend had never wavered. She stuck by Phineas's side through thick and thin, always ready to assist in whatever he was doing. But lately, she was becoming discouraged. Years of having her subtle hints ignored (which lacked more and more subtly with each failure) had begun to weaken her resolve. Isabella was losing hope, and it was becoming frustrating how, no matter how hard she tried, she simply could not ignore how dreamy, and adorable, and smart, and kind, and-

She shook her head to clear the rambling thoughts away.

Having all this time to think quietly was distracting. She tried to listen in on what the others were saying, as the topic of conversation seemed to have shifted to that of their destination.

 _Okay,_ she decided. _Just for today, I am going to pretend Phineas is just another friend like any other. No Phineasland, no staring at him and getting lost in his eyes, no fawning over his technical speak. I am just going to pretend that…uh…that he's a clone of Ferb! That's what I'll do! No, wait, he talks too much for that…_

While Isabella was puzzling over her Phineas situation, Baljeet was showing off his extensive knowledge of nearly everything by sharing some of the legends of Oak Island's infamous Money Pit.

"…and he was quoted as having stated, 'I have hidden my treasure where only myself and the devil can find it.'" The Indian teen spoke the quote in his best gravelly pirate voice, which really was not very piratey at all.

"That was the worst pirate voice I ever heard," Buford mocked.

Baljeet ignored him and went on talking. "That is the origin of the rumor that Blackbeard's treasure is buried at the bottom of the Oak Island Money Pit. I think it is far from the most believable theory."

The gang had been flying at near sound-barrier breaking speeds for the last half-hour. Thanks to Ferb's polymer-strengthened bubble, the only way they could even tell they were moving aside from sight was the force of being pulled slightly backward from the forward momentum. Now that they were nearing their final destination, Ferb had slowed them to a more manageable velocity.

"My personal favorite is the theory that the pit contains a treasure of the Templar Knights! I think that would be most-" Baljeet abruptly stopped talking. "Does anybody else hear something?"

"I do," Phineas answered. "What is that?"

The protective bubble muffled the sounds surrounding the flying rug and its passengers, making it difficult to even tell from which direction the sound was coming. The five teens looked all around, trying to find its source.

Isabella turned and knelt on the couch cushion to look behind her. She gasped. Then, as the horror of the situation took effect, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "PLANE!"

The others followed her pointing finger. A tiny single engine prop-plane was slowly descending from the clouds just above the tail end of the rug. It was no more than three yards away.

With no time to spare, Ferb quickly increased power to the anti-gravity lift discs and the carpet rocketed forward, leaving the plane far behind.

"That was close!" Phineas breathed.

Buford was clutching his chest over his pounding heart. "Too close f'r my taste."

Before the adrenaline had even had to time to leave their blood streams, they were all suddenly thrown forward.

"Ahhh!"

Ferb had brought the rug to an impossibly fast stop, causing his friends to be launched from their seats. They landed in a heap beside him. Without even a trace of emotion in his voice, the Brit spoke. "We're here."

"Wow…" Buford groaned. "I didn't know you could hit th' brakes in the air…my mind is blown."

A warm tingle ran up Isabella's arm as she realized it was touching Phineas's ankle. Her cheeks turned red as Phineas pulled himself to his feet and offered her his hand.

"You okay, Isabella?"

She peered up at him. Phineas's bright, caring smile melted her heart instantly. There was nothing she could do. Even after all these years, he still had that effect on her. _I guess there's just no use fighting it._ When she took his hand, she was met with another wave of excited tingles on her skin. Once on her feet again, Isabella gave her crush a small smile. "Yes, Phineas. I'm alright."

The gang peered over the side of the rug. Through the bubble, mist, and rain, they could see Oak Island below, slowly growing larger as Ferb reduced power and lowered them safely toward Earth.

"So d'at's Oak Island, huh?"

"Yes, yes it is," Phineas answered.

Buford crossed his arms. "I was picturing something a little more…foreboding."

Everyone ignored Buford's complaints. "We should probably put on our rain gear," Phineas told the others. They had all removed their slickers soon after leaving Danville.

Baljeet asked, "Where is our gear?"

Phineas let go of Isabella's hand and pointed to the sofa. "I stashed it behind the couch." He frowned. His hand suddenly felt cold and empty. _Was I holding Isabella's hand all that time?_ He glanced at her and then quickly looked away as his eyes unexpectedly met hers. _Was…was that awkward? I can't tell._

"Here ya go, Isabella." Buford's words derailed Phineas's train of thought.

The bully handed a light pink rain slicker to Isabella. She looked down at her feet with embarrassment. "Oh, uh, thank you, Buford."

Phineas flexed the fingers of his right hand. For reasons he could not quite explain, he wanted to feel Isabella's hand in his again. It had felt so natural that he had not even noticed, but now that it was over his hand felt somehow lonely.

"Your jacket, Phineas." Phineas nearly jumped out of his skin as Baljeet held out his orange slicker.

"Uhhh, thanks."

A moment later, the bubble pressed against the ground and burst, the rug landing a second later.

When the five had all stepped off, Ferb pressed a button on his remote and the rug and couch folded into a tiny cube. Ferb pocketed it and gave the others a thumbs up.

"Well, here we are! Oak Island!" Phineas announced.

"Looks t'me like a whole lotta trees and not much else."

"Well, we aren't here for what's on the island, Buford." Phineas began walking, with his friends tailing close behind. "We're here for what's under it."

* * *

He may have been a lousy pilot, but The Regurgitator was a very adept swimmer. Holding his buoyant seat cushion in his outstretched arms, kicking hard with his muscular legs, and breathing all the way down to his diaphragm, he reached the shoreline of Oak Island with the speed of an Olympian. When his legs touched the sand, he tossed the cushion away and pulled himself to his feet.

 _Now, if I remember correctly…_

The Regurgitator surveyed the land as he walked up the beach. The rain and mist made visibility on Oak Island just as poor as it had been in the air. Surrounding trees appeared as legions of ghostly silhouettes in the fog.

 _…It should be right…_

And then, as if by magic, there it was: A small hole in the ground no more than six feet across.

An evil grin spread across The Regurgitator's face. "Here."

* * *

"Wow." Doofenshmirtz tightened his grip on the handle of the umbrella. The storm had only worsened as he and Perry neared the Canadian coast. Perry was fighting hard against the intensified wind as it threatened to blow him and his partner out of the sky.

"This reminds me of hurricane season in Gimmelshtump. Especially when I was a lawn gnome. That big pointy hat made it really difficult to stand in the wind. You'd think that, you know, it's a cone, the wind will deflect around it, but it's more like having a big sail on top of your head. I got blown all the way to Stumblegimp one time. I couldn't even stand up long enough to-"

Perry suddenly hauled back on the controls, hard enough to reverse the directional jets and bring the hovercar to a complete halt.

The jolt cut off Doofenshmirtz mid-sentence. "Hey, I was telling a backstory!" he complained.

He then realized that Perry was dropping altitude.

"What are you doing, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry chattered and pointed to the ocean below. There, just about to disappear beneath the choppy waves, was a white and black single engine Cessna. Only the tail assembly was still visible, and the last few digits of the registration number matched those that Perry had written down.

Doof's eyes widened and he spoke excitedly. "Is that the plane The Regurgitator stole?"

The platypus chattered once more in reply.

When the craft was only a few mere feet above the crests of the waves, Perry pressed a button marked "Auto-hover." The hovercar bobbled back and forth as the onboard computer struggled to correct against the raging gusts of wind. Without even a moment's hesitation, Perry leapt from his seat, sailing through the driving rain before plunging into the roiling sea. Furiously pumping his muscular tail, he swam deeper beneath the waves, soon reaching the submerged cockpit of the plane. A quick glance revealed a smashed windshield and the pilot was nowhere in sight. Perry paddled closer to the shattered glass, searching the cabin for his foe.

But it was empty.

Satisfied that The Regurgitator must have escaped, Perry turned and kicked for the surface. He had had to swim deeper as the plane sank, but he had not realized just how far down he had gone.

Perry was suddenly aware of a burning pain in his chest. It had been awhile since he had last been in the water, but he was sure he was capable of holding his breath longer than this. The old platypus gasped for air as he broke the surface and nearly swallowed a mouthful of seawater as a wave broke over his head. The waves were so rough that Perry had no time to get a full breath.

Paddling franticly, his little lungs begging for air, Perry searched for the hovercar. Without even realizing it, the current had dragged him at least a dozen yards away from it. His attempts to swim to it were in vain, as his oxygen deprived muscles simply were not strong enough to overcome the power of the ocean.

"Perry the Platypus!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz could see that his friend was struggling to keep his head above the water. "Perry the Platypus needs me! I have to help him!" He looked worriedly at the controls. "Oh, I'll never be able to fly this thing to him. I can't even fly an airplane in good weather!"

On the center console was the panel of gadget activation buttons. "Maybe there's something here I can use to help him. Let's see…" A green button labeled _Magnetic Tether_ caught his eye. "Maybe I can use this like a fishing line!"

A loud bang accompanied the pressing of the button. From beneath the front valence of the hovercar, a magnet on the end of a thin steel cable shot out across the water. The magnet sailed over Perry's head, the cable draping across the rolling sea a few feet away.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doof yelled, hoping that his partner could hear him over the wind and waves. "Grab the cable! Grab the cable!"

Perry could not make out what Dr. D. was yelling; he could barely detect the sound of Doof's voice with the water clogging his ears. As he struggled to stay above water, he frantically searched for the hovercar. When he found it, he could briefly see a cable dangling from its nose before a wave crashed over his head.

Perry's oxygen-starved brain whirred. Instantly he knew what he needed to do. Ignoring the burning aches in his muscles, Perry kicked hard, pumping his tail as he swam at an angle with the current in the direction of the cable. A glimmer of hope strengthened his resolve.

The tossing waves had kept the steel cable from sinking for than a few feet, and Perry spotted it. Stretching out as far as he could, Perry felt his fingers close around the cold braided steel. Flailing in desperation, he turned nose down and smacked his tail against the surface, hoping to create a splash and signal Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doof was yelling. He had lost sight of the platypus and was desperately trying to find him. "Perry the Platypus, where are you?!"

Feeling as though his chest would explode, Perry gathered his remaining strength and smacked his tail against the water once more.

This time, Doofenshmirtz saw it. "Perry!" The splash was nearly on top of where the cable had landed in the ocean. Hoping that Perry was holding onto the tether cable, Doof pressed the button again and retracted the magnet.

Perry was exhausted. He had exhausted the little remaining oxygen in lungs and everything ached. He shut his eyes, feeling too weak to even continue holding on to the cable. He was about to let go when he realized it was moving. He could feel himself being towed quickly through the water and held on as tightly as he could.

Doof let go of the umbrella that was protecting him from the rain and clambered carefully through the hole in the roof onto the hood of the teetering hovercar. "Perry!"

Within moments, the cable began to rise from the water, carrying Perry the soggy Platypus with it. He coughed as he hurriedly sucked in a breath.

"Perry the Platypus, grab my hand!" Holding carefully onto the edge of the hovercar's windshield, Doof stretched his hand out to Perry as far as he could.

Weakly, Perry raised his hand. The salt water, which he was not used to, had blurred his vision and he could not tell where Dr. D.'s hand was. All Perry could do was hope that his partner would be able to reach him before the cable was fully retracted and he no longer had anything to hold onto.

Doofenshmirtz nearly missed. His fingers grazed Perry's as his partner came within reach. Fearing Perry may lose his grip when he hit the hovercar, Doof desperately lunged forward to extend his reach. He grasped Perry's wrist and hauled him up onto the hood of the hovercar.

"Gotcha!" Doof cried triumphantly. "You know, I don't want to brag, but that was a pretty darn good idea I had and-"

Perry was coughing and gasping for air. His lungs burned, his muscles ached and he shivered uncontrollably from the cold water that soaked his teal fur.

As Doofenshmirtz looked down at his partner, he swallowed a lump in his throat. "Perry the Platypus?" The old Platypus met his partner's gaze. "We really are too old for this aren't we?"

Perry hung his head, removing his water logged fedora and holding it in his trembling hands. Several moments passed, the only sound the wind and the rain pelting the aluminum hovercar body. Finally, as tears cleared the salty water from his eyes, Perry slowly nodded.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz let out a sigh. "O.W.C.A. is right. We should hang up our fedoras before it's too late."

Perry stared at his old hat. He had no thoughts, nothing to convey. It was the truth, and there was no denying that.

Doofenshmirtz removed his ever-present lab coat and wrapped it snuggly around Perry's frigid body. Then he raised the bundled up platypus to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry, Perry the Platypus. I'm sorry."

 **Hope you all enjoyed! Reviews are always super appreciated, but please be civil! Also, if you have an account on , please make sure you are logged in when you review so I can reply to you properly. I am not a fan of replying to reviews at the end of the next chapter.**


	5. Tom Petty would be Proud

**This one took a little longer than expected, but it's also a longer chapter than normal from me. (Not by much, but a little bit.) I'm about to lose my normal writing time, so hopefully I'll be able to find time to continue writing this story.**

Chapter 5: Tom Petty would be Proud

"Must you keep flicking the side of my head like that?"

"Yes. Keepin' you inna constant state o' annoyance is my favorite pastime."

Buford suddenly felt something hit the back of his own head three times in quick succession. He turned in surprise and found Isabella looking quite proud of herself.

"What d'ya think yo'r doin', girly?"

She giggled. "Just giving you a taste of your own medicine, Buford."

He brandished a fist. "Why, if you wer'n't a girl, I'd-"

And the next thing they knew, the three of them were falling in a heap on top of Phineas and Ferb, who had suddenly stopped walking.

"Oof!" Baljeet exclaimed.

"Sorry, guys," apologized Phineas. "We're, uh, we're here." Suddenly, a thought popped into Phineas's head. He held out his hand to Isabella as he had done earlier.

The girl blushed and hoped Phineas would not notice. Once back on her feet, she noticed that Phineas once again had not let go of her hand. "Um…thank you, P-Phineas…" she stammered.

"Oh, yeas, _thank you_ , Phineas," Buford quipped as he stood, in the highest-pitched voice he could manage.

"You do a pretty good Isabella, Buford. It's not quite as cute, though." His words suddenly registered in his mind and his face went blank with surprise. _Whoa…where did THAT come from?!_

Phineas's puzzling abruptly ended when he realized that the others were all staring at him with the same look of surprise etched across their faces.

"Uh, where were we?" Phineas asked quickly.

Buford's reply was spoken slowly and carefully. "You said we was here, but I don't see no pit."

Trying to act as if the group had not just endured a very awkward and confusing moment, Phineas took a step forward-

-and his face turned bright red as he felt a tug on his arm and he realized that he was still holding Isabella's hand.

He quickly let go, pointing to a hole in the ground only about six feet across. "This is it, Buford. It used to be much larger, but after the failed excavations the surface ground was reconstructed most of the way for safety reasons."

The gang gathered around the hole, peering into its depths.

Baljeet squinted. "All I can see is darkness." The Indian boy looked over his shoulder at the surrounding tree covered island. "And somehow the empty darkness is less fear-intriguing than this impenetrable mist."

Ferb removed a flare from his infinite storage container. He lit it and dropped the red flaming stick into the Money Pit. The gang watched as it seemed to float downward, slowly shrinking smaller and smaller until, barely visible, it hit the bottom.

Buford whistled appreciatively. "Wow. That. Is. Down there."

"Maybe this was not such a good idea after all," Baljeet spoke slowly, taking a few safe steps back.  
"Don't worry, gang. We've got this covered. Ferb?"

This time Ferb produced a large metal pole about five feet tall. He gave it a twirl and then thrust it into the ground with all his might. Then he pressed a button on the side and several mechanical clanking sounds could be heard.

"What is all that noise?" asked Isabella. "I hear a lot going on, but I don't see anything happening."

Phineas answered her question while tying a very complex and sturdy knot into a loop on the end of a very large coil of rope. "We utilized some of our old nano technology to make self-constructing stabilizers in that pole. Right now, there are subterranean branches assembling themselves and creating a sort of root network to hole the pole firmly in the ground." Satisfied with his knot, he tossed the loop over the top of the pole just as the mechanical din ended. "It's nearly immovable, making it the perfect anchor for our climbing rope." Phineas then picked up the coil of rope and tossed it into the Money Pit.

The gang watched as it unwound itself, disappearing into the blackness. For a moment, no one spoke.

"Is anyone else having second thoughts about this?" Baljeet finally asked.

"Not a chance, nerd," Buford scoffed. "I've had enough 'o standing around. I'll go first."

Ferb held out a battery-powered headlamp to Buford, and the burly teen strapped it to his head. Then, while Ferb doled out identical headlamps to the others, Buford took a firm grasp on the rope and lowered himself down into the pit. Climbing carefully hand-under-hand, he soon had descended far enough for the next person to join him. Ferb silently volunteered to go second. He was followed by Baljeet.

"Why don't you go next, Isabella?" Phineas suggested. "Then I'll go last so I can look after y- everyone."

 _The heck is wrong with me today? Does my brain know something I don't?_

"Okay, Phineas."

As the Phineas watched his best friend begin the long descent into the pit, he found himself wondering: _Can cabin fever cause unexpected increases in affection for female friends? I wonder if being cooped up the last few days suddenly made me really enjoy her company more? I'll have to look that up when we get home._

With Isabella having descended about ten feet, Phineas clicked on his headlamp and followed.

* * *

For a while, Perry and Doofenshmirtz sat in the idly floating hovercar. The heating vents were pointed at the soaked lab-coat-clad Platypus, trying to restore his body temperature to normal.

Doof, meanwhile, was holding a flattened cardboard box above his head as a replacement for his lost umbrella. Unfortunately, the wind kept blowing it around and rendered it completely ineffective. For once, Doofenshmirtz had nothing to say. The crime fighting partners merely sat in silence.

Suddenly, Perry threw off the lab coat. He disabled the autohover and turned the hovercar around, heading for home.

"Perry the Platypus, what are you doing?"

Perry removed his wrist comm and pressed a button. Then he tossed it onto Doof's lap, never averting his eyes from the windshield.

"What-?" Doof began, but was cut off when the comm beeped.

 _"Uh…hello?"_

Doofenshmirtz quickly picked up the communicator. Major Monogram's face appeared on the screen.

"Oh, uh, hello, Major."

 _"Doofenshmirtz? I thought this transmission was coming from Agent P's communicator."_

"It, uh, it is…" Dr. D. glanced over to Perry, hoping for some sort of indication as to what the platypus wanted him to say to Monogram; Perry still would not look at him.

 _"Well? What is it? Have you found The Regurgitator?"_

"No, we, uh…we haven't…" He looked at his partner again. Perry removed his waterlogged fedora and tossed it behind the seat.

Doofenshmirtz sighed. He understood now. "We're coming home."

A warm tear ran down Perry's cheek as Doof explained what had happened.

"…and Perry the Platypus nearly drowned and froze to death! I think…I think it would be best if you got another agent out here to find The Regurgitator."

It was Monogram's turn to sigh. _"I suppose that's for the best. I knew that this day would come. Hehe, even Agent P can't defeat time."_

Perry hung his head.

 _"I'll send Agent B, I guess. He's our best tracker, but nowhere near as good a fighter."_ Monogram sighed again. _"It's just too bad that you two couldn't finish your last mission."_

 _Last mission…Last mission…Last mission…_

The words echoed through Perry's head. His fingers tightened around the control yoke, and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Okay, Major Monogram. We'll be back soo-"

Perry suddenly accelerated hard and turned the hovercar around in a wide arc.

"WHOA!" yelped Doof. "Perry the Platypus, what are you doing now?"

Perry reached behind him and retrieved his fedora. He wrung it out through the window and placed it carefully back on his head. His old, steely gaze from years past returned, and he gave Doofenshmirtz a small, but determined grin.

 _"Doofenshmirtz? What's going on?"_

Doof could not help but smile. "Forget I said anything, Francis. We're going to finish our last mission if it kills us!"

Before Major Monogram even had a chance to reply, Dr. D. ended the transmission. The old partners looked at each other. They were former nemeses, old adversaries, partners against crime; But they were even older friends, no matter what their exterior relationship appeared to be throughout the years. At the core, they were the best of friends. And together, those two best friends were going out on top.

Doofenshmirtz just wished that he had chosen his final words to Major Monogram a little more carefully.

A few minutes later they passed over the sinking airplane. Only the tip of the white tail assembly was still above the waves, appearing like the dorsal fin of an albino shark.

"So if The Regurgitator wasn't in the plane, do you think he survived?"  
Perry nodded.

Doof squinted. A dim silhouette was visible through the rain and mist. "Hey, that looks like an island! Maybe he managed to swim to it. It isn't that far away from where he crashed. If he had managed to stay in the air a little longer he probably would have crashed into it, just like I probably would have."

Perry raised an eyebrow.

"What? Flying is _hard._ "

The hovercar sped onward to the island, and a few moments later they were standing on the beach.

"Ahhh-ah-ahhhh…" Doof moaned as he cracked his stiff back. "Well, at least if this is our last mission, I won't have to keep racking up chiropractor bills."

Perry glanced around the beach. It was difficult to see much of anything through the fog, but he thought there was something in the sand at the edge of the surf. Ignoring the fatigue in his joints, he ran to it. It was a padded seat cushion.

"Hey!" he suddenly heard Doof say. He found his partner standing right behind him. He had not even heard Doof follow him. "That looks like the seat cushion out of the plane I took flying lessons in. I remember because my instructor told me it could double as a flotation device…and I, uh, almost had to use it."

Perry wondered if the cushion had just come detached and floated here, but that seemed unlikely. He looked down at the sand.

They had faded from the rain, but there were unmistakably footprints on the beach, heading up to the island. He pointed to them and chattered.

"Footprints?" Doofenshmirtz asked. Perry nodded. "They must be recent or the rain would have washed them away! We've got the trail now!"

They high-fived triumphantly and quickly ran up the beach, following the footprints into the woods.

* * *

Five people dangling from the same rope, especially when the bottom end is not anchored, does not make for an easy climb.

"Buford, will you please stop shaking the rope around so much?" Baljeet called down.

"How am I s'posed to do that? I'm just climbin' here!"

"I do not know! Climb more smoothly or something!"

The pit was quite a bit larger below the ground, at least fifteen feet in diameter. Climbing the furthest away from Buford and closest to the anchored top, Phineas experienced the least amount of wiggle in the rope. He took advantage of this by scanning all around the pit walls. Every few feet or so, he could see the ends of logs in the earth, lined up and appearing to have been cut off. He remembered Baljeet saying that during excavation, the pit had been blocked off every ten feet with layers of carefully interwoven logs. It seemed that quite a few of them had been cut through.

The descent was very slow going and it was nearly an hour before Buford's headlamp illuminated the bottom. This far down, however, the rope swayed and wiggled even more. Baljeet nearly lost his grip.

"Buford!" he yelled. "You are going to make me fall!"

"Sor _ry_ , nerd!" the bully mocked. "If that's so, maybe you oughta just hold on tighter!"

A particularly violent wiggle caused Isabella to quickly wrap both arms around the rope. "Baljeet isn't wrong, Buford. You're making the rope move around an awful lot."

Buford looked down at the bottom of the pit. He was only about fifteen feet away now. "A'right. Let me speed this up a little." He loosened his grip on the rope and slid down to the bottom.

He instantly regretted it.

"AUGH!" he cried. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Owwwww!" When Buford bathed his hands in the beam from his headlamp, his palms looked as though they had been taken to with a belt sander. They were badly skinned and bloodied. It felt as if his hands were on fire. "Aaaaahhhh!"

Ferb quickly finished his climb down, landing next to Buford. He extracted a first aid kit from his storage container and guided Buford to a sitting position before tending to his friend's injured hands.

As he reached the bottom, Baljeet asked, "Buford! Are you alright?!"

Buford was trying very hard not to scream as Ferb poured alcohol over his raw hands to sterilize them. His teeth ground together, and his eyes watered. "Yeah, I'm-" He winced. "I'm fine."

When Isabella joined the others, she quickly began assisting Ferb in administering first aid. While Ferb bandaged Buford's left hand, Isabella wrapped his right hand in gauze.

At last, Phineas jumped off the rope. He examined Buford's injuries. "You okay, Buddy?" Buford just nodded. "Good first aid work, you guys."

"Yeah," Buford said quietly. "Thanks, Ferb. You, too, Isabella." Through his pain, Buford forced a small smile. "You know, you guys are all really great friends."

"Awww," the others chorused.

"Just for that gushy 'Aww,' I take it back."

"Well, I guess that's that," Isabella said. "We won't be able to do much exploring with Buford's hands all torn up."

"Not only that, but how is he going to climb back up?" Phineas added.

Buford sprung to his feet. "Guys, guys! I'm fine! Really! My hands barely even hurt!" That was a total lie. "C'mon, I wanna explore!"

"You're sure, Buford?" Phineas asked. "Because we can go home if you-"

"Nah, we came all this way and spent an hour climbin' down here. We shouldn't make it a wasted trip."

"Well, okay. But let us know how you feel."

"Don't you worry about me, Dinnerbell. Where are we, anyway?"

For the first time, the gang examined their surroundings. They were standing on a wooden floor, but closer inspection revealed it was actually a tightly packed layer of saplings. Each had been planned flat to create a more floor-like surface. The center was mostly clear, but around the edges, unexcavated dirt was still packed on top.

"I believe this is as far down as the final excavation team dug," Baljeet said.

"Say, Baljeet, why did the excavation end?" inquired Isabella.

"There were a few, erm, accidents."

"Accidents?"

"A few members of the excavation team met with untimely deaths."

The gang grimaced. Phineas asked, "How did they die?"

"One of them drowned when the pit flooded unexpectedly. I believe another was crushed beneath a falling rock."

Buford pointed across the pit. "Like that rock over there?"

The others looked. Near the edge of the floor, a rock larger than Buford himself had seemingly crashed into the floor, partially embedding itself and cracking the timbers around it.

"I suppose it is possible."

Buford stepped closer to it. As he approached, the wood groaned and cracking sounds could be heard emanating from within.

"Uh, Buford, I don't think that's a very good idea…" Isabella said worriedly.

"Relax, girly, I'm fine. I wanna see if there's any bones or anythin' here."

Baljeet facepalmed in frustration. "Buford, they did not leave the man's body down here."

"Yeah, but maybe his arm was trapped under it and they just cut it off."

Another step brought forth a loud creak and a small chorus of snaps.

"Buford, get back here before-"

Baljeet did not even have a chance to finish his sentence. With a loud crack, Buford's foot broke through the floor. The others gasped as he anxiously tried to pull it out. "I-I'm stuck!"

"I'll help you, Buford!" Phineas called. "Don't worry!" But as he started forward he was stopped by Isabella's hand.

"Phineas, let me. The floor is even weaker now and I'm the lightest one here."

"But-"

"Phineas, trust me. Please."

Phineas did not want it to be Isabella. What if the floor could not support the weight when she tried to rescue Buford? But he knew she was right. There was an even better chance of the floor giving way if he went.

"Alright," he sighed. "Please, be careful."

Isabella tiptoed toward her stranded friend. The wood beneath her feet creaked and groaned as Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet and Buford watched. They barely dared to breathe.

It seemed like an eternity before Isabella reached Buford. She squatted down, grasping his ankle. She carefully helped him twist his leg, maneuvering his foot until Buford's boot finally came free.

"There," she breathed.

"Thanks."

"Now we just have to make it back to the other side."

"Okay."

"Very, very slow. Be careful. Tread lightly."

Buford swallowed. "Gotcha."

They each took one step-

-and the entire half of the floor they were standing on suddenly gave way, sending them plummeting into the open chasm below.

"AAAAAAaaaaaaahhhh-!"

"Isabella!" Phineas cried, while Baljeet simultaneously yelled, "Buford!"

Before Phineas, Ferb, and Baljeet even had a chance to react, the remaining section of floor shuttered, the cantilevered edge dropping down several feet. Baljeet was knocked down, and he slid towards the edge on his stomach.

"Help!"

Phineas dove forward and grabbed Baljeet's hand, but found himself now being dragged toward the edge. "Ferb! Do something!"

Ferb quickly pulled his infinite storage container from his pocket, but as he did so, the floor violently shuttered and jerked down even further. It caused the container to fly from Ferb's grasp. It sailed through the air and bounced off of Baljeet's head, which pressed the "Eject All" button. As if it were vomiting, the container spewed exploration equipment everywhere, some of it falling into the pit.

"Oops," said Ferb simply.

A second later, the edge of the floor attached to the wall gave way, sending the three teens tumbling into the darkness.

 **Now I'm freeeeeeee...free falling! (That's the explanation of the chapter title, in case anybody missed it.)  
Please review if you've got the time. **


	6. Falling down a pit is hard on the ribs

Chapter 6: Falling down a pit is hard on the ribs

"Perry the Platypus, look!"

Perry was examining a broken twig for evidence that it had recently been stepped on and snapped when he heard Doofenshmirtz. His partner was pointing excitedly toward a clearing in the trees. There was a hole in the ground with a metal pole beside it acting as the anchor for a rope that led down into the earth.

The two agents hurriedly splashed across the muddy ground. The rope disappeared into the darkness; neither could see its end.

"Wow," Doof whistled. "Now that is a hole. You know, the trail seemed to lead right to it. Do you think The Regurgitator is down there?"  
Perry did not reply. He thought the answer was fairly obvious. He tightened his fedora onto his head and took a precautionary glance around the rainy island. Then he grasped the rope.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! We aren't actually going down there, are we? I've never been good at climbing and I am very claustrophobic!"

Perry crossed his arms and glared at Doofenshmirtz.

"What?"

The Platypus gestured with his hand.

Doof frowned. "Oh, I get it, you think that I'm a bigger chicken than Agent C, don't you? Well, I am not! Come on! Let's go!" He grabbed the rope from Perry's hand…and then looked down into the darkness below. "Uh, actually, Perry the Platypus…" He held the rope back out to Perry. "You go first."

Perry just rolled his eyes.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Terrified beyond all rational thought, Phineas and Baljeet screamed until their lungs were fit to burst. Down they fell, the wind rushing past as they plummeted hundreds of feet into the earth.

Ferb, however, was barely even phased by their peril. Thinking of a quick way to save them, he felt in his pocket for the Aerial Area Rug. Unfortunately, it seemed to have fallen out as he was tumbling through the air. Still remaining calm, Ferb scanned around with his headlamp, searching for something to save them. All around the boys were various items that had been in his infinite storage container. His beam illuminated a pickaxe just above him. The lights went off in Ferb's head and he quickly gasped the wooden handle.

"Phineas!" he called. The other two boys stopped screaming and looked upwards to meet his gaze. "Grab my ankle!"

Phineas did so, then stretched out his hand to Baljeet. "Baljeet! Take my hand!"

The teens held onto each other with white-knuckled grips. Ferb looked down. The bottom of the pit was suddenly visible just at the furthest reach of his headlamp, and coming up fast.

"Hang on!" Ferb swung the pick at the stone wall with all the force he could muster.

Ferb's plan really should not have worked. The face of the hard stone walls should have deflected the strike of the pick. But, somehow, be it by luck, some greater force or simply because it was being wielded by Ferb Fletcher, the sharpened tip of the pick was driven right into a horizontal crack in the solid igneous rock.

The teens were violently jarred as they were brought to a nearly instant stop, and their momentum caused Ferb to lose his hold on the pick. Once more, they were falling.

"Ahhhh- oof!" Baljeet groaned as he landed on a pile of dirt. They had only fallen about eight feet. Still a painful landing, but survivable. A second later, a dozen or so pieces of exploring gear crashed down around them.

Phineas groaned as he slowly picked himself up. He placed a hand on his throbbing head where it had struck a rock. "Quick thinking, Ferb. Are you guys alright?"

"I will likely be sore for several days," Baljeet replied, massaging a sore spot on his hip. "But I am otherwise uninjured."

Ferb, meanwhile, found that he could not move his right arm. "I do believe that sharp stop has dislocated my shoulder," he said calmly.

Phineas and Baljeet grimaced.

"Resetting it would be a job best suited for Buford-" Baljeet began, but quickly stopped as he realized what he was saying.

Fearing what he might find, Phineas slowly looked around. He expected to see the partially crushed bodies of his two friends who had fallen first, but Ferb and Baljeet were the only ones there.

"Hey…where…where are Buford and Isabella? They fell before we did, they should be here…shouldn't they?"

"You are right," Baljeet agreed. "Where could they be?"

"I don't know." Phineas circled the pit, searching for something he might have missed. "Hey, guys?" He looked from one side of the pit to the other. "Does it seem like the pit is smaller? Width-wise, I mean?"

His companions thought for a moment, each judging the distance across for themselves. "I agree," Baljeet said as Ferb nodded. "In fact, I would say it is only half of the diameter it was when we fell."

Phineas pointed to the side Ferb had wedged the pickaxe into. "We were standing pretty close to that wall when we fell." He pointed to the opposite wall. "So that wall must divide the pit up the middle. I'll bet Isabella and Buford are on the other side of it!" Then he added, "And maybe they're still alive…"

The three boys were silent.

Finally, Phineas spoke again. "C'mon, we have to see if there's a way we can reach them! Ferb, do you still have the rug?"

Ferb shook his head.

"Nuts. We'll have to climb out then."

"We probably should attempt to reset Ferb's shoulder," Baljeet said. "He will not be much help in reaching them with one useless arm."

"Good point, Baljeet." He looked at Ferb's arm thoughtfully. "Okay, how do we do this?"

"A forceful jolt ought to do it," Ferb spoke.

"Right…" Phineas thought for a moment. "Um…okay. Ferb, why don't you stand with your shoulder against that wall there…"

Ferb did so.

"And now Baljeet and I will run into you and, hopefully, the collision will pop your shoulder back into its socket."

"Um, Phineas…" Baljeet began, but Phineas was not listening.

"C'mon, Baljeet, we don't have any time to waste! Isabella could be hurt or-"

"But, Phineas-"

"Fine, I'll just do it myself. Ready, Ferb?"

The Brit nodded.

"Okay, on the count of three. One…"

"Phineas, you cannot just-"

"Two…"

"But, Phineas-!"

"Three!"

There was not much room to build up speed in the small space, but Phineas's long legs allowed him to cross the room in three quick strides. Leading with his own shoulder, he crashed into Ferb's. There was an audible pop-

And Ferb shrieked.

* * *

 _A little earlier…_

Isabella could not believe that Buford had not stopped screaming yet. She had yelped when the platform had given way, but once the initial shock had ended, she gathered her wits about her. Sure, she was still terrified, but screaming would not solve anything.

"AHHHHHH! AHH! AH! AHHHHHHHHH!"

She could deal with this. She was close enough that she reach Buford, and she slapped him hard across the cheek.

"AHHHH! AHHH! AHH- OW! What was that for?"

"Because you aren't helping! You're just giving me a headache!"

"Can ya blame me? We're gonna die!"

"Not if we can figure out a way to stop falling!"

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?! We don't even have some rope or nothin'!"

"I don't know! Let me think!"

Isabella looked down. Strangely, the pit below them was dimly lit by some unknown light source. A hundred feet down, she could see water, and from what she could tell it looked fairly deep.

"Hey!" Buford yelled. "There's water below us! We're gonna be okay!"

"Buford, hitting water from a fall of greater than thirty feet is just as bad as falling onto concrete!" Isabella yelled quickly.

"…so…we're screwed, ain't we?"

"Not if we can figure out a way to slow down! Or at least use something to take the impact for us!"

"How about this?"

Isabella looked at Buford. He had in his hand a pressure suit, one that Ferb had brought in case they somehow ended up in space.

"Where did you get that?!

"It was just fallin' with us. I think Ferb musta ejected his storage container 'r somethin.'"

"Well, it might work! C'mon, get on top of it!"

With the pressure suit flat, face down, there was just enough room for both of them to hold onto the back with their stomachs flat against it. Isabella grabbed the sleeve and used the external controls on the wrist to pressurize it. The suit filled with air, making it like holding onto a rubber raft. They clung to it with all their might.

"Hang on!" Isabella cried.

They were just in time. The suit crashed into the water's surface, compressing just a bit and acting like an airbag, cushioning the fall. Both of its passengers had the wind knocked out of them just before they lost their grip and fell off into the water. A myriad of exploring equipment fell in around them, lost forever in the depths of the pool.

Isabella quickly paddled to the surface, gasping for air as she breached. As she breathed hard to refill her lungs, she realized that her headlamp had gone out. The water almost seemed to be glowing from beneath, filling the vast cavern with dim artificial light, which was why she had not noticed her lamp's absence. She clicked it off and back on again, and after a few flickers, the beam from her headlamp returned.

"Buford?" she choked out. She looked around, thinking he may have come up somewhere outside of her field of vision. "Buford?" There was no reply, nor could she locate him by sight. "Buford?" Isabella yelled louder. She took a few deep breaths. "Buford!"

She was met with only silence.

 _Oh, no…no no no! What if he was knocked out? I'll never be able to find him under water!_

Suddenly, she heard splashing a few feet away. Just as she trained her light on it, a figure emerged and began gasping desperately for air.

"Buford!" she cried, relieved. His head lamp had gone out, making it hard to see him.

"H-help-p," came his plea. He was struggling to keep his head above the water.

Thinking quickly, she located the floating pressure suit and towed it over to her friend. Buford latched onto the helmet, using it as a flotation device. Isabella took hold of one of the arms, using the opportunity to rest.

"Are…you…okay?" she panted, still out of breath.

He nodded. "Couldn't…figure out…which…which way…was up," he gasped.

As the fear and panic faded away, Isabella suddenly realized that the water was frigidly cold. "We…have to…get out…of…of the…the water…"

Buford clicked his headlamp back on in the same manner as Isabella, and thankfully it worked. As he worked on catching his breath, he glanced around. They seemed to be in a massive cavern, more than five times as big as the room they had been in before they had fallen. Nearly forty feet above them was the cavern's ceiling, and a small hole only a few yards in diameter revealed the pit from which they had fallen. The walls were smoothly worn rock. On one far side, there was an alcove at the water's edge where the bottom of the pool rose up and created an area that remained dry.

"Over there…" He pointed.

"Let's…go…" Isabella replied.

Paddling together, they swam with the pressure suit over to the shore. They were both breathing even harder when they reached dry land, and they sat down side by side.

As he breathed in deeply to catch his breath, Buford noticed for the first time an aching soreness in his chest. "I think…I mighta…bruised…a coupla…ribs…" Buford panted, rubbing his freezing arms.

"Yeah…" Isabella could feel a similar pain. "Me, too."

"On the bright side, the cold wat'r numbed the pain in my hands from the rope burn."

A few minutes passed in silence as they caught their breath. At one point, they heard a far off shriek that sounded like someone in great pain, but neither even acknowledged it.

When at last he had caught his breath, Buford became far more aware of the cold. Seeking relief, he peeled off his rain coat and soaked t-shirt. He wrung as much water out of the shirt as he could and then put it back on. "Dat's a little bit better. Little bit less cold now."

Isabella shivered and sighed. She grasped the hem of her own shirt and managed to squeeze a little bit of water from it.

Buford touched her on the sleeve. "G' ahead. I won't look. I promise."

To prove it, he turned to face away from her, burying his face in the hood of his rain coat.

Isabella though about it. Her body convulsed from the cold again. Her teeth were even chattering. "Alright. But if you peek, you're dead, Van Stomm."

"Hey, I respect my friends," he replied, his voice slightly muffled by the rain coat hood. "I wouldn't do nothin' like that."

Isabella could not keep from cracking a smile. Beneath Buford's tough guy exterior, he really had a heart of gold. Her smile faded as she remembered she was shivering. "Okay…here I go. No peeking."

"I won't."

She quickly pulled off her shirt and wrung it out as best she could. She looked down at her chest, trying to decide just cold she was. Isabella let out a sigh. She turned her back to Buford and quickly removed her bra, too, doing her best to wring it dry. Then she quickly redressed, save for her rain coat.

"Okay, Buford. You can look now."

He dropped the rain coat. Isabella was stroking her long, dark hair, squeegeeing the water from it. She was still shivering. "You still cold?" he asked, still shaking a bit himself.

She nodded. "Umm…" A perplexed look crossed her face.

"What?" Buford raised a confused eyebrow.

Isabella shook his head. "Nothing."

"What? What is it?"

She sighed. "We would restore our body temperatures a lot faster if we…um…" She winced. "…huddled together for warmth."

"That's true."

"Yeah…but I'm sure that you don't want-" Isabella was cut off Buford slid over beside her and put his arm around her midsection, pulling her in close against his side. "Uhh…okay, then."

He flashed her a toothy grin. "I bet yer wishin' I was Phineas, huh, girly?"

His question was met with a slightly embarrassed laugh and eye roll. "Heh…yeah…you got me there. I bet I'm not exactly your first choice, either."

"Nah. Of the four people it could have been, at least yer a girl. Cuddling with one of the other dudes would be weird."

Isabella chuckled.

"Whadya think? Is it weird to be cuddling with me?" Buford asked.

"Hmm…nah…what's a little cuddling between friends?" She put both arms around him and gave him a hug, leaving Buford rather dumbfounded. "You know, Buford? You really are a good friend."

"Heh…thanks, Isabella." He squeezed her back. "You are, too."

They held onto each other for a while until they stopped shivering, each feeling just a little more secure in each other's arms.

Finally, Isabella spoke. "You know, I thought Phineas and Ferb would have rescued us by now."

"I was just thinkin' it seemed like they should have already come fer us."

Buford stood and held out a hand to Isabella, helping her to her feet. Together, they walked to the water's edge, where the roof of the alcove did not block their line of sight of the rest of the cavern. They pointed their headlamps up to the ceiling.

"We came from up there, right?" Buford pointed to the hole in the highest point of the cavern.

"We must have. There isn't anywhere else we could have fallen from." Isabella squinted. "Do you think that hole looks smaller than the pit was at the point we fell from?"

"I was just thinkin' that, too. Ya think maybe…" Buford considered his words for a moment. "Maybe the others fell too?"

"But wouldn't they be here with us?"

"Well, if that hole looks smaller, maybe there was, like, another way down where they could have fallen? Like, when we were on that platform, below us the pit split in two?"

"Hmm…maybe." Isabella turned and pointed her lamp down toward the back of the alcove. Though her headlamp was powerful, it did not reveal where the alcove ended. It was, in fact, not an alcove at all, but a cave. "Maybe this cave will lead us to them. Want to follow it?"

"Better than standin' around here. Let's go."

Buford quickly led the way, but after only a few steps, Isabella stopped and jogged back.

"Hey! Where ya goin,' Isabella?" Buford called back.

"Just a sec!"

Isabella knelt down beside the pressure suit where it still sat on the water's edge. There was a coil of thin wire rope attached to the belt and she removed it, slinging it over her shoulder. There was also a small but very sharp retractable knife in a small storage pouch on the belt which she took as well. Then she returned to Buford.

"Would you like the knife or the rope?" she asked, presenting both to him.

"Where'd you get those?"

"From the pressure suit. I thought they might be good to have."

"Oh." Buford grinned. "Good thinkin,' girly. I'll take the knife."

Isabella smirked at him and placed the knife in his waiting palm. "I had a feeling that's what you'd choose."

"Well, you know," Buford chuckled as they heading into the cave side by side. "Gotta balance out the universe and all. I did just cuddle you, after all."

 **Whew! Writing is hard work! And for this part all I was doing was copying stuff I wrote weeks ago onto the computer! Oh, well. I don't think anybody was exactly on the edge of their seat waiting for this chapter, so…yeah.**

 **As always, reviews are super appreciated, (and good motivation to continue writing) but please be civil, everybody!**


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